My 9th grade year is so close to being over, fucking finally.. My god. I struggle with a sensitivity to loud noises, so I'm glad I don't need to be here especially since I lost my headphones recently.
Today, I went through the scariest point of my life, ever.
I was in my bed reconsidering the recent issues I've went through I might write down here? I'm unsure. I made this site since I had no real venting spot.
For the first time ever, and very hopefully the last time, I went into some sort of.. panic attack? Where I started breathing heavily and laughing out of my own control, sometimes even flying backwards. It lasted around 5-6 minutes and I hated every moment.
Maybe I'll go talk to Hannah about it (if she didn't hear everything already. Apparently I *think* loudly. LOL.)
As if my nearsightedness wasn't an already an issue, my eyes have felt unfocused more recently and it can be hard to see..
Goodbye journal and everyone who cares to listen, may I write again tomorrow. :3
I feel so horrible.
Today I had spoken incredibly rudely to my friends out of selfishness and I was incredibly inconsiderate to someone I typically love talking to.
(I will not say their names as to keep their privacy)
I had spiraled into shame because of this and it only made me feel tired and ashamed of myself in the end.
Due to issues with people I'm constantly around that *aren't* my friends, I now feel the need to be silent,
However, I know that if I stayed silent I wouldn't have got the love I didn't deserve yet still got from them.
..Thanks guys.
Goodbye journal and everyone who cares to listen, may I write again tomorrow. :3
*Technically* not June 2nd yet, but we ball.
*Sooo*, pride month huh?
I'm unsure how I feel about this. On one side,
(I am very proud of my html learning work I needed to do to make that list. :333)
But hey, summer break's almost there, 10th grade is soon and I'm pretty sure I'm going past 9th? Barely considering I have almost straight Cs but better than an F right??
Anyway that's all.
I really hate how my arm is hurting now. Ouch.
My nails started bleeding recently because I have a habit to bite on them, but I know I'll live through this part of life.
It's just,uh, angst. Yeah. teenage angst. I'm just sad because thats how all teenagers are!
Goodbye journal and everyone who cares to listen, may I write again tomorrow. :3
(Seriously, it's impressive you're still reading.)
Good thing nothing bad happened yesterday. In fact, something really good!
I finally begun my YouTube channel, and it performed way above average, I can't wait to finally find "my humans.!"
Looking at a "Deltarune Memes" short compilation, I found a song I enjoyed related to Toby Fox.
..Skies Forever Blue is possibly one of the best pieces of art I've encountered.
I'm a techie, and knowing GameBoy saves used batteries and would be erased after decay, the ending hit me like a damn brick.
..It reminded me of my old friends from around 5 or 6 years ago, And it heartbroke me.. In a good way of course! I remember I used to hang out with them all the time back then.. They would visit. I'm still upset about that. I love my friends today, even if this diary doesn't make that look obvious, but I am bitter and full of the hatred of the fact I can't be with them because they're all online.
Thanks Toby Fox and Itoki Hana!!
And of course, goodbye journal and everyone who cares to listen, may I write again tomorrow. :3